Seven nights in with the idiot box

Listening to: 'What You Know' by Two Door Cinema Club [Tourist History]

So since I've been awol, I thought I'd share what I get up to in the evenings. Which is basically a lot of TV. In case you weren't aware, Freeview is awesome.

Monday:
2000-2030 - University Challenge (BBC1) - my twitter followers may recall my elation last week as I managed to get 15 questions right (out of, I dunno, 50?). The questions are usually so highbrow, it's a wonder I even understood that many!
2235-2305 - A Question of Sport (BBC1) - clearly Monday night is 'specialist quiz night' in my flat. I pride myself on being able to get the majority of the cricket and tennis questions right (I'm rubbish at other sports, but oh well).

Tuesday:
2000-2100 - Made in Chelsea (E4) - yeah so it's actually broadcast on Monday nights but clashes with QofS so I just watch the repeat on Tuesdays. I thought I would hate these 'staged reality' shows but OHMYGOD it's so much fun. The majority of the characters are either complete a-holes or so posh it should be illegal, which means I have plenty to laugh at.
2200-2230 - Later Live with Jools Holland (BBC2) - half an hour of live music, need I say more?

Wednesday:
2200-2300 - Fresh Meat (Channel 4) - the writers of Peep Show made a tv show about uni students with Joe Thomas off of Inbetweeners and Jack Whitehall...was I ever not going to watch this?

Thursday:

Friday:
2100-2200 - Strictly Come Dancing (BBC1) - starting this week, can't wait! Harry Judd, nom.
2200-2230 - QI (BBC2) - what could be better than Stephen Fry, Alan Davies and a myriad of bizarre facts? Nothing, that's what.
2230-2300 - 8 Out of 10 Cats (Channel 4) - Another random quiz show. With Jimmy Carr, Jon Richardson and Sean Lock (and others). I loves it.

Saturday:
1930-2130 - X Factor (ITV1) - love love love this season. The new judges are brilliant.
Whatever movie's on (this week I have to decide between Frost/Nixon and Shaun of the Dead...or I could watch the latter on ITV1+1)

Sunday:
1945-2100 - X Factor (ITV1) - twice in one weekend, yay!
2100-2200 - Spooks (BBC1) - ah so good. Are real MI5/Russian agents really this easy on the eye? (Oh hi there Sasha! And Dimitri! And Callum!)
2200-2315 - Downton Abbey (ITV1+1) - the terrestrial airing clashes with Spooks, but +1 saves the day! TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, MARY! *ahem* sorry.
2315-0000 - The Only Way Is Essex (ITV2+1) - not as good as Made in Chelsea IMO (the characters are too realistic for me to be able to take the piss) but Joey Essex is adorable (albeit incredibly thick) so it's OK.

If I'm bored and there's none of the above on (or it's Thursday), you might find me watching Don't Tell the Bride on BBC3, Poirot on ITV3, or the endless reruns of CSI/CSI:NY/NCIS on 5USA. I've also been known to dabble in a bit of Outnumbered (BBC1), How I Met Your Mother (E4), Big Bang Theory (E4), Cleveland Show (E4), American Dad (BBC3), Family Guy (BBC3) and the Ricky Gervais Show (E4). Oh and if I'm up that late, Misfits and Skins. And there are always one-off documentaries on BBC1/2/3/4 that are quite interesting.

Soooo yeah. Seriously, who needs to illegally download stuff when there's this much good stuff on TV?!

Heather Morris is a goddess

Listening to: 'Me Against The Music' by Glee Cast [Glee: Season 2]

So I know I'm a bit late, but I just caught up on last week's episode of Glee - Britney/Brittany. As I said on twitter...OMLG* that was amazing. Heather Morris' body moves in mysterious ways (if you don't believe me, check out this low quality LSFW youtube vid of I'm a Slave 4 U from that episode). I mean I know she's a professional dancer and all, but I've got so used to her being 'Brittany' that I forget that she's got more in her box of tricks than just comedy.

My favourite performance of the episode was Brittany's duet with Santana, and luckily I managed to find a high quality video of it. Just look.at.her.move.

I think every house should have a Brittany. She can sing, she can dance...and when you're sad, she'll cheer you up with lines like -

"I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."
"Are you a cat?"
"Finn can fly?"

What more could you possibly want?


*What?! You don't say Oh My Lady Gaga? OMLG!

Wish Lists

Listening to: Radio 1

At time of publishing this post...

DVDs

• Sherlock
  Current Price: £8.93
  Target Price: < £5


• (500) Days of Summer
  Current Price: £4.79
  Target Price: < £3


• Glee: Season 1 Box Set
  Current Price: £27.93
  Target Price: < £20


• Inbetweeners: Complete Box Set (Series 1, 2, 3)
  Current Price: £26.93
  Target Price: < £10


• Emma (2009 BBC version)
  Current Price: £10.49
  Target Price: < £5


• Mean Girls
  Current Price: £3.49
  Target Price: < £3

CDs/mp3 Albums

• Sigh No More - Mumford & Sons
  Current Price: £3.99
  Target Price: < £3


• The Hits Collection: Volume 1 - Jay Z
  Current Price: £6.49
  Target Price: < £5


• XX - The XX
  Current Price: £3.99
  Target Price: < £3


• Catching a Tiger - Lissie
  Current Price: £3
  Target Price: < £3

Amazon mage salli kanawaaaaa*!!! And in addition to those 'target prices', I'm only willing to spend £10 per month on music/movies.

I need a job dammit.

*is eating my money

Happy tears

Listening to: Nothing

I dare you to watch this and not be smiling at the end (or crying, if you're as much of a stressed bunny as I am right now).

In retrospect

Listening to: 'Me and You' by Nero [-]

I'm on a self-imposed TV ban at the moment...I have enough distractions from the thesis as it is, without feeling compelled to scream "bus wankers!" at no one in particular for a few hours after watching Inbetweeners. That said, I do allow myself exceptions...the MoBO Awards show was one, and the latest instalment of 'World's Strictest Parents' on BBC3 was another. I mean after RD told me that the priest at our meditation centre was in it, how could I not?!

The premise of the show, from what I could gather, is this: two wayward British teenagers are packed off to some far flung place for a week, where they will live with *drumroll please* the WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS *dun dun dunnn*. In Monday night's episode, a quintessential Essex girl and a posterchild of David Cameron's 'broken society' were sent to live with a family in Colombo. I enjoyed the show, partly 'cos the two chavs were hilarious and partly 'cos it made me long for home. And of course I got all excited seeing the priest on TV. And the doggy.

It also made me think about my own upbringing: were these parents really that strict? How strict were my parents in comparison? Would I have done anything differently?

I'm not sure if I can remember each and every issue that came up, but I'll list the ones I do recall.

• No cellphones
  The mother said that their children don't have cellphones. I can relate to that - I only got a phone when I came to university. It's not that I asked and my parents said no - there just wasn't a need for one. At my old school, none of us had phones. When I switched schools for A/Ls, suddenly loads of people had phones. I still didn't see the need for one though. I remember walking along the corridor once and I heard this girl in a lower Form telling her friend how her mother's a bitch 'cos she wouldn't let her have a phone...I was horrified! One, because what do you need a phone for at that age?! and two...well, see the next point.
• No bad language
  This is something that always disturbs me - children using bad language when talking to or about their parents. The two girls in the show...oh my word I wanted to slap them (or wash their mouths with soap #corporalpunishmentFTW). I dunno how that couple stayed so calm. If I had used that language in front of my parents, I would've been slapped silly. I've been slapped a fair bit, but never because of bad language - I just don't use bad language in front of my parents. Never have, never will. My parents know I use all sorts of words when I'm with my friends...but they know that I respect them enough not to let them hear it.
• No smoking
  Erm...that goes without saying, no?
• No birthday presents
  I guess that's unusual but then I didn't get birthday presents either. My parents worked on the principle that if I had been a good girl and they could afford what I was asking for, I'd get it regardless of the time of year. But seeing as I was being punished for most of the year, I didn't get much :P Which brings me to the next point...
• No TV
  Another supposedly extreme one. True, there was no TV ban in our house...except when I was being punished. When I was about 14/15, I had a nasty habit of talking back to my parents, especially my mother. My mother now assures me that it was normal teenage behaviour, but I'm still ashamed of it. Anyway, if I had been especially rude, my TV rights were the first to go. I was rude so often that I think I got used to not watching any TV at all! Then my radio started getting confiscated...that's when I calmed down and started to behave :P

So yeah, that's it. Were these parents strict? Yeah I guess so. Were they the world's strictest parents? Hell no...I had classmates whose parents were muuuuuch stricter than this. How about my parents? I'd say yes they were strict, but fair. Very fair. And looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, um, I wouldn't say no...Part er...

Listening to: 'Clair de Lune' by Philadelphia Orchestra [OST - Ocean's Eleven]

...three. Yes, I'm still going (here's one and two, in case you missed them).

"I bothered to listen at school; why didn’t the rest of you?"

David Mitchell is not my idea of good looking. Also, he's

David Mitchell (L) with his comedy partner
Robert Webb

snobbish, pedantic, and he whinges. A lot. But oh my, he's bloody hilarious. And I don't mean just on Peep Show, That Mitchell and Webb Look, or any of the other shows he's on. Even his interviews are hilarious (not sure if that's visible outside the UK - soz!). There's just something about him that makes me happy. Maybe it's that pathetic smile. Can I become a groupie? Do comedians even have groupies? I dunno. Anyway, yeah. ♥ David Mitchell. Maybe it's 'cos he's from Cambridge? Hmm.




"I came here to drink milk and kick ass…and I’ve just finished my milk."

Richard Ayoade. Well, specifically his character

L-R: Moss, Jen and Roy are The IT Crowd

Moss in The IT Crowd. How adorable is Moss?! I'm watching Series 4 at the moment (really really good so far) and I just grin like a jackass every time Moss is on screen. He's just so...so...awkward. And loveable. Aww. Maybe it's 'cos he's from Cambridge? Hmm.








"If we don't get served, I will be humiliated in front of the girl I've lusted after since she was eight."

Aww...sweet, pathetic Simon Cooper, off of

Simon in Series 1

The Inbetweeners, played by Joe Thomas. I ♥ Simon. So yes he's obsessed with that useless Carli, and yes he did puke all over her little brother, but he's so unbelievably nice to Will. Even when Will's being a complete 'briefcase wanker'. And he's so cute! In an 'I-have-way-too-much-gel-in-my-hair teenager' kinda way. He makes me laugh so much. Maybe it's 'cos he's from Cambridge? Hmm.


Actually, no. Cambridge has nothing to do with it (although I am very chuffed that I have some distant connection to these guys). It's just a coincidence that all three are alumni (the first two are past-presidents) of Cambridge Footlights, that well-known hit factory. If you think you don't know any other Footlights alumni...do the names Douglas Adams, Emma Thompson, Sacha Baron Cohen, Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry ring any bells?

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be a totally Cambridge-related post. I've recently (as of a few days ago) developed an obsession with yet another TV character. You know how I said the BBC worked some kind of magic with Mr Darcy and Mr Knightley, and somehow turned decidedly average men into absolute sexpots? Yeah well they've done it again.

"Because you're an idiot. No no no don't be like that, practically everyone is."

No I don't think he's good looking. But in his role as Sherlock Holmes in the BBC's absolutely brilliant Sherlock, Benedict Cumberbatch is pushing a lot of my buttons. Here's the trailer.

He's just so interesting. The arrogance with patches of concern, the extreme intelligence, the voice, the way his shirt fits just perfectly...I can totally relate to Molly Hooper. *sigh*

I've seen him in other movies (most recently, the equally brilliant BBC adaptation of Small Island) and there was nothing. And I enjoyed Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes, but I didn't fancy Sherlock in that (despite how adorable RDJr is). So I dunno what it is. But who cares, I've got another two episodes (why only two?!) of this series, so I'm just gonna sit and enjoy him it.

Oh and is 'Benedict Cumberbatch' the most awesome name ever or what?!

Bad hair and deadly fungi

Listening to: Radio 1

Last night was the National Television Awards show on ITV. I didn't see it, due to the minor issue of not having a TV. But I did manage to catch the most important part of the whole night (after Cheryl Cole's outfit, of course) on youtube this morning. And of course I simply had to share it!

Sigh. I've blogged about JEdward before (here and here), but this is taking it to the next (unbelievable) level. I feel sorry for Joe that he had to share a stage with these guys, but then they were performing with Vanilla Ice. ROFL. ROFL. ROFL (yes I'm still laughing). The funniest part is, JEdward weren't even born when Ice Ice Baby was originally released!

Anyway, I was listening to the song, and I actually listened to the words.

All right stop, collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo! I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and watch me jump like a candle.

It gets better...

Dance, go rush the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye, The kid don't play
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

I'm sorry, "I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom"?!?!?! Is this dude for real?!

Anyway this is a bit of a nonsensical post, I know. I haven't had time to sit down and blog about my trip...hell I'm still lagging behind on my emails! And don't get me started on the photos. All will be sorted soon, hopefully. Until then, you're gonna have to put up with random observations like this. Lucky you.

Gleeking Out

Listening to: 'Don't Stop Believing' by 'Glee' Cast [-]

Um yeah. So Glee fever has come to the UK. We're a season behind the US or something, but who cares. I was warned that it was cheesy and OTT, but seeing as Fearne Cotton and Scott Mills haven't been able to talk about anything else for the past week, I had no choice but to watch whatever I could find on 4od.

And now I'm hooked. Yes some of the characters are quirky and incredibly OTT, but the music is absoflippinlutely amazing and Cory Monteith who stars as the jock-turned-niceguy Finn bears an uncanny resemblance to a really cute supervisor I had as an undergrad (what? you never fancied any of your teachers? Riiiight). And it's so lovely to see Gina...I mean Jessalyn Gilsig as Terri. I loved her in Nip/Tuck, and she doesn't disappoint here. Also, anyone else think that Mr Schuester (Matthew Morrison) looks like a hybrid of Justin Timberlake and Neil Patrick Harris? No? Just me? OK then.

But yeah, eye candy aside, I think what's really drawn me to Glee is nostalgia. Most...nay, all my fondest memories of school are somehow related to the school choir. The early morning practices, the funny vocal exercises, the weird throat-soothing concoctions (warm honey with garlic? seriously?), the complicated harmonies, the retarded costumes...they were all worth it when we sounded good. And oh boy did we sound good.

Unlike the Glee club in the show, we weren't 'misfits' (well I was, but the others weren't). The choir was, in effect, a clique. The clique that sang English songs with boys *shock horror*...ah the joys of going to an all girls' government school! And we didn't always sing just what we were supposed to. While waiting for practice to start, we'd harmonise to anything that came into our heads - show tunes, pop, baila...you name it, we'd harmonise it. For me, singing is the ultimate form of expression, and choir was the perfect outlet.

I did join the chapel choir when I came to university, but somehow it wasn't the same. Learning hymns for a service was too short-term for me. I wanted something I could sink my teeth into, something I could feel passionate about. Something I could connect with, and feel good about when it came right. Chapel choir didn't provide that. There were societies and groups that did, but the time commitment required was more than I was willing to put in, and after two failed auditions, the dream died. I suppose singing on the blog is my way of regaining some of that passion, but it seems rather inadequate at times.

Anyway if you don't know what all this Glee stuff is about, this clip should be a taster.

Oh to be a part of something like that again. Sigh.

P.S.- Finn from Glee and Simon from The Inbetweeners...what is with me and guys playing school kids on tv? Chee what a paedo.

Update

Listening to: 'Tell You Something' by Alicia Keys [As I Am]

I've been so utterly busy that I haven't had time to blog for 2 whole weeks! I should be getting ready for bed now but I was having blogger withdrawal so here I am with a quick update.

Those of you who watched the X Factor results show on Sunday would've seen Alicia Keys' performance. How amazing was she?!?! I'm in love. So in love am I that I haven't been able to listen to anything else for the past 3 days...and I JUST BOOKED A TICKET TO SEE HER LIVE AT THE O₂ NEXT MAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's the day before my birthday, how cool is that?! The only catch is that I don't know if I'll actually be in the UK in May...but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I missed the youtube concert yesterday 'cos I was being sociable, but I'll try and watch the highlights at some point. Her new single Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart is absolutely gorgeous...I can't wait for the album!

In other news, I'm going home next week!!! I'm swimming in a sea of unfinished experiments, horrible weather, a messy flat and a really bad cold, and at times it's difficult to get excited about going home 'cos there's so much to do. I'm also paranoid that SriLankan is gonna mess up my booking, which doesn't help. I am, however, getting excited about my friend's wedding. I'm supposed to be organising the hen party and giving a speech, neither of which I've done before...so it should be interesting. Hopefully I'll get time to actually write the speech! Sigh at this rate I'm gonna have a hell of a lot of things to do on the flight.

The Teaching Associate Programme I mentioned earlier is going really well...I've been observing lecturers and it's a real eye-opener! Wow I was such a horrible undergrad. The only thing I'm dreading is writing essays based on my findings. I don't 'do' essays. Blogging and thesis-writing are the closest I get to writing prose. Anyway we shall see.

Hmm there's nothing else to report, really. Work is going OK *touchwood*, I'm just trundling along until I go home. There's the usual mix of newish music I'm enjoying, like the Alicia Keys track I mentioned above, and the new Plan B track Stay Too Long. He might look like a chav, but the boy's got talent.

OK I'm properly yawning now so I guess it's time to hit the sack. This rather haphazard post marks 100 posts for this year!!! This is a lot more than I usually manage, so it's quite a big deal for me. I've also noticed that my comment count has gone up considerably, so thank you to everyone who reads this blog and takes the time to comment :-). As usual, I probably won't have much time to blog from SL, so this might be the last you hear from me for this year. I'll try and get a few updates in, but if I can't...here's wishing you a peaceful end to 2009 and a prosperous start to 2010!

X Factor fever

Listening to: 'Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart' by Alicia Keys [The Element of Freedom]

So Jamie Afro's been booted off X Factor in Week 6. I can't say I'm unhappy...the whole 'one arm up in the air' rock anthem stance was way too clichéd for my liking. But JEdward's still there...WTF. It's ridiculous. There are some serious idiots in this country...I mean imagine JEdward releasing a single? An ALBUM?! Geez...and I thought Mr. Blobby was bad.

The thing about X Factor is, unlike Big Brother, you can't forcibly evict people. You just have to hope that more people vote for your favourite. And when the anti-JEdward votes get split amongst all the other contestants, getting rid of the twins becomes quite difficult. Simon passed up a perfect opportunity to weed them out last week, but being the businessman that he is, he kept the crowd-pullers in. Let's face it, half the people who voted this week wouldn't have even watched the show if not for JEdward. And as for those who complained to Ofcom, are you guys for real?! The act that got the least amount of votes got kicked out...how can that be a violation of the code of conduct? I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people who complained were those who hadn't even voted.

Anyway JEdward aside, we've filtered down to pretty much the best of the lot. I'd say Lucie was better than Lloyd, but I guess teenage girls are more likely to vote than boys, and Lloyd definitely gets the teenage girl vote. So Cheryl's got him and Joe, Dannii's got Stacey and Simon's got Olly and Danyl. So what happens next? There's one more 'bottom two' scenario next week, and from then on it's a simple eviction process. So here are my predictions:

• Week 7: Lloyd and JEdward in the bottom two; Lloyd to be evicted
• Week 8: JEdward
• Week 9: Danyl
• Week 10 Round 1: Stacey

Which leaves Joe and Olly to fight for the top spot in Round 2. Joe's probably my favourite, but I think Olly has a better chance of winning, and I'd be happy if he does.

The whole JEdward thing does beg the question though: how important is the Northern Irish vote? There's definitely regional voting going on, everyone knows that. There's no other way to explain how Eoghan Quigg made it into last year's finals. It'd be interesting to see how the voting numbers change in the absence of an Irish (northern or republic) contestant. Oh well, makes for good tv I suppose.

All in all, I think X Factor continues to be the most entertaining reality tv show out there. Strictly is nice, but the whole C-list celebrity thing makes it a bit boring for me - either have properly famous people or don't have it at all. I mean more people know Phil Tufnell as a reality tv regular than a former England cricketer! This is the show that had Darren Gough, Kelly Brook and Alesha Dixon! C'mon BBC, sort it out.

Anyway I think that's enough about reality tv for one post. We shall see how X Factor pans out. Till then, I'm gonna continue listening to Alicia Keys' absoflippinlutely amazing new single.

Journal entry

Listening to: 'Rain On Me' by Cheryl Cole [3 Words]

In exactly 4 weeks' time (pretty much down to the hour) I will be touching down at Bandaranaike International Airport. Can I get a wooooooooo hooooooooo?! Thank you. One or two of you will know that I was rather apprehensive about telling my supervisor. This was partly due to my own guilt of taking a break so close to the end of my PhD, and partly due to the fact that the last time I was faced with this situation, the response I got was...

Well I'm not going to tell you not to go, but you know how much work needs to be done...

See why I was scared? Well today's conversation went rather differently...

Me: Could you have a look at my experimental plan for the next few weeks? I'm going home for Christmas and I'd like to make sure I'm on track to finish soon...
Sup: Hmm yup that looks ok...when are you leaving?
Me: Erm...*gulp*...the 8th
Sup: OK let's meet on the 7th morning then

Huh? That's it? Just like that? No disappointed face? No guilt trip? Are you sure you're feeling ok?! Hmm maybe I should just smile and leave before he changes his mind. That was a lot easier than I'd planned.

So anyway, now I'm letting myself get slightly excited about the trip. Two weddings (one family, one friend), one school reunion, a few days out of Colombo (I'm pushing for Galle, need to work on Daddy Dearest), some sari shopping, SS and her sis visiting, fish curry! And of course time to spend with friends and family. I'm sure as hell not gonna let this tiny issue of a wisdom tooth extraction get in the way of my enjoyment. Although I am wondering when I'm actually gonna get a chance to sleep, get cuddles from my parents and watch TV! Hmm...

Now the flipside of all this is, I have a ton of work to get done before I go home. But I'm lazy. It's grey, wet and cold, and I'm sneezing. Not a good combination, I tell you. But I have to motivate myself somehow. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can finish my PhD. I'll get through this! I can do thi...*achchooooo*!!! Sigh.

In the meantime, I've got Cheryl Cole's album on repeat. Now all you self-appointed music connoisseurs can pipe down: this is manufactured pop at its best. Cheryl is the Nation's Sweetheart, and no matter what the cynics say about it all being a PR stunt, I'm well and truly under the spell of those dimples, and I'm happier for it. In fact, with the absolute disaster that is JEdward, Cheryl's becoming the only reason to watch X Factor on the weekend (although Joe is incredibly sweet and Olly is quite charming...surprisingly sexy even, in an unassuming way...it's those moves, man *swoon*). Danyl and Jamie just get on my nerves. Lloyd is fit (he's 16 so it's not illegal to say that) but he can't sing well enough. And Stacey can sing, and she's decent-looking...but OMG is she ditzy or what?! Last year we had Alexandra, JLS (I swear Marvin is hawwwt), Diana, Laura...this year is such a disappointment in comparison.

But back to Cheryl's album. I didn't really like 'Fight For This Love' when it first came out, but now I adore it. As for the rest of the album...well the stand-out track for me is '3 Words'. I can just picture it being played (remixed by someone like Calvin Harris, probably) in some sweaty club in Ibiza. The bass line is so heavy...just perfect. Will.i.am's thumbprint is all over the album, but that's not such a bad thing. The lyrics are cringeworthy, and yeah there's a fair bit of autotune, but who cares? The songs make me feel good. That's what matters to me.

Right I better get ready for bed if I wanna wake up on time tomorrow.

No one does period drama like the BBC

Listening to: nothing

I just finished watching the final episode of the BBC adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma (available on the iPlayer here if you're in the UK and you missed it...and I think it's on youtube here). Oh. My. God. How does the BBC always manage to do this? They take a guy who's ok looking, put him in Regency England attire, add some sexual tension and transform him into this totally and utterly irresistible man-god. Most famously they did it with Pride and Prejudice's Mr Darcy, and now they've done it with Mr Knightley. I mean let's be honest here, Jonny Lee Miller's all right, but he's nothing special. But as Mr Knightley? hubba hubba, *swoon*, *drool*, weak at the knees...and so on and so forth. Sexy is an understatement.

But now I'm left with a dilemma. Should I go to sleep (and no doubt have very pleasant dreams), or satisfy my now-whetted appetite and indulge in a bit of lake action with Colin Firth?

"Well hello there, Mr Darcy..."

Climb every mountain (or maybe just one really big one)

Listening to: '9 to 5' by Dolly Parton [9 to 5 and Odd Jobs]

So if you've noticed my twitter updates, you would've seen some of my tweets being addressed to RedNoseClimb. If you haven't spent a considerable time living in the UK, you may not be familiar with the whole concept of Comic Relief/Red Nose Day and the Red Nose Climb, so I'll give a brief intro.

Comic Relief is a British charity set up in the '80s by Richard Curtis of rom-com fame. Every year, the UK celebrates Red Nose Day - the main fundraising event for Comic Relief. The idea is that you raise money doing fun/interesting things, and every single pound raised goes to charity (i.e. none of the donations go towards admin costs). The money goes towards long-term projects in the UK and overseas (primarily African nations), and the BBC is one of its main supporters.

I usually donate 50p or something, but this year's different - I've already given £3 and I'll probably end up doubling that. Not to Comic Relief in general, but specifically to the Red Nose Climb. Why?!

The Red Nose Climb = 9 people climbing Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for insecticide-treated mosquito nets (to aid in reduction of Malaria cases) in the African continent and mental health awareness in the UK. OK, climbing the 4th highest mountain in the world is pretty good, but it still doesn't explain why I'm infatuated with it. Here are the 9 people (you may not recognise some, but still...):

Cheryl Cole - from Girls Aloud and X Factor
Chris Moyles - Radio 1 breakfast DJ
Kimberley Walsh - from Girls Aloud
Fearne Cotton - Radio 1 weekend DJ
Gary Barlow - yes, from Take That
Alesha Dixon - formerly of Mis-teeq (the one who did the rap) and now enjoying solo success
Ronan Keating - yes, from Boyzone
Ben Shephard - TV presenter
Denise van Outen - TV presenter and actress

These are not people like us. Apart from the DJs, they spend their days being pampered, and dancing around on stage and TV with make-up and bright lights. They're the ones in the celeb mags, stumbling out of nightclubs and into taxis in a drunken stupor. They're not the type to go climbing mountains. I mean even Chris Moyles...have you seen Chris Moyles?! He doesn't look like he can climb a set of stairs, let alone a mountain!

But they're doing it. They're leaving behind the make up and the hair straighteners, the aftershave and the snazzy outfits...heck they haven't showered since Sunday! They're putting aside their diva lifestyles and putting up with the altitude sickness. All to raise some money for people who need it.

So far, people have donated over £1 million for the climb...and there's still two days for them to reach the summit. One could argue that they could've donated the money themselves between them, but I prefer it this way. It makes them more human.

I hope they all make it safely to the top, back down again and back home.

If you're in the UK and would like to donate £1 to the Red Nose Climb, text 'climb' to 88808 :-)

Goosebumps

Listening to: 'Listen' by Beyoncé [OST - Dreamgirls]

OK so I didn't see the X Factor final *shock shock horror horror*. I slept like a baby from 7pm until 11pm when I woke up feeling extremely hungry. I might watch it online later, but I've already youtubed the only bit I wanted to see - Alexandra's duet with Beyoncé. Ooooooh mama. X Factor should be renamed 'Goosebump Factor'. How could anyone compete with that combination?! I mean seriously, Westlife? Boyzone? HAHAHAHAHAHA you have got to be kidding me. Eoghan and JLS had no chance!

I'm not gonna embed the X Factor version here 'cos it's an edit, and I think the song should be experienced in its entirety. So maybe she's done some retarded songs too, but this, my friends, is pure diva gold.

Any Dream Will Do (will it really?)

Listening to: Radio 1

So, the fifth series of X Factor has begun. I've always paid minimal attention to X Factor, catching up on youtube, reading the related articles on the beeb, and so on. This time though, I'm keen to follow it properly. There's something exciting about watching raw talent and realising that one of these people might be the next Leona Lewis (the first UK female solo artist to enter at #1 on the US charts).

But then, it's not always 'raw talent'...sometimes it's just raw pain. There's only been one episode and we've already seen some truly tragic performances (if you can dare to call them that). I admire these people for their guts, but who on earth told them they could sing?!?! Surely they've seen previous episodes of X Factor - did they actually think that they were as good, if not better, than previous contestants?

One of the auditions is being played to death on the radio, purely for its comedy value. Thanks to Annie Mac and Chris Moyles, I won't be able to get this deluded boy's 'rap' out of my head for the rest of the week! And so I figured, why should I suffer alone? Here are Ant and Seb, for your viewing and listening (dis)pleasure.

Ouch.

Can I also just say that Cheryl Cole looks lovely and she makes Dannii Minogue (the fourth judge, not in that video) look old and washed out.

I'm sure that Ant and Seb are not going to be the worst audition that we see this year. That said, the best, is also (thankfully) yet to come.