Sunday, July 29, 2007

Super size me! (please?)

Listening to: 'Stronger' by Kanye West [Graduation]

I'm pretty sure that anyone and everyone who's ever seen me has, at some point during our acquaintance, commented on my size (or lack thereof). The most popular comments include:
  • Don't you eat? (and then their jaws drop when they see my plate)
  • Where does it all go? I'm so jealous!
  • Have you been to see a doctor?
Sigh. For heaven's sake, look at my mother. Look at my father. Is there any way I could be curvy? The genes wouldn't allow it.

So anyway, I'm scarily underweight. I do eat, more than most in fact. And I have no idea where it all goes. And I have been to see my doctor, and she assures me that there's nothing medically wrong with me. I've even been to a dietician, who had no sensible suggestions (I don't consider spending almost £10 a week on dietary supplements a 'sensible' suggestion). I'd love to put on a few kilos. I accept that I'll probably remain underweight, but hopefully by a little less than I am right now. So I delve into the treasure trove that is the internet, to get some inspiration. Good idea, right?

Wrong. It appears that the majority of net-savvy females are obsessed with losing weight, not gaining it. Most web entries related to good health harp on about low-calorie diets and other weight reduction methods. And almost all web entries related weight gain are directed towards body builders. And for anyone who wants to increase body fat, no chance! (I was gonna say 'fat chance' but decided that would be too lame)

I'm trying to over eat. I don't mean gluttony, I mean a systematic increase in daily intake. I'm trying to join a gym, but the gym needs a medical certificate authorising post-surgical exercise, and my GP has referred me to an orthopaedic specialist...and thanks to the 'wonderful' NHS, I'll find out the date of my appointment in about a month's time (yes, they take a month to tell me how long I have to wait to be seen).

Until then, I have to be satisfied with being likened to a stick insect.

1 comment:

  1. oh bless you. It really is the other side of the story isn't it. Well, as soon as the technology develops you may have a fat transplant from me.

    However, more seriously...yes, dieticians tend to suggest ridiculously overpriced supplements. It's good you realise the importance of gradual weight gain, rather than go on one massive binge!

    Young patients with cystic fibrosis and others with cachexia are often prescribed weight-gaining milkshakes with their meals. Instead of buying them, you could make your own, adding icecream and chocolate syrup to them. Banana smoothies. Peanut butter! All high calorific, but not necessarily artery-clogging!

    Another principle to go by is big meals 3-4 times a day rather than grazing/snacking the entire day. People think that snacking is a recipe for weight gain, but in reality, used correctly, it boosts your metabolism. Your last meal should be just before going to bed.

    Also sleep. Whether it is for weight gain, or for weight loss, 7-8hours sleep is essential for regulating metabolism!


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