Revelation

Listening to: nothing

Last night I typed up a post about my battle with myself. I didn't publish it 'cos I wasn't sure if I could handle the "are you ok?" comments that would probably follow...I chose to sleep on it and decide today.

Today I felt an urge to pick up a book that's been lying untouched on my bookshelf for years - "Settling back into the moment: A meditator's inspirational guide" by Joseph Goldstein (you can find a pdf of the book here). While reading that, I thought I should check youtube for videos of Ajahn Brahmavamso - I've always wanted to take a proper look but never got round to it, until today. What immediately caught my eye was this - his talk on loneliness. It's almost an hour long, but well worth the time if you can spare it.

The talk provided many moments of revelation for me. I think now, I know what I need to do. Publishing last night's post is not one of them.

Keep calm and carry on

Listening to: 'P.Y.T.' by Michael Jackson [Thriller]

For those of you not familiar with Buddhist practices, yesterday was Vesak. A day to reflect upon the Birth, Enlightenment and Passing of the Gautama Buddha. A big part of practising Buddhism - I'm talking about 'practice offerings' (patipatti-puja) as opposed to 'material offerings' (amisa-puja) - is cultivation of the mind via meditation. I don't meditate nearly often enough, but when I do, I find it very rewarding. Sometimes you need to spring clean your mind and give it some room to breathe, and I find meditation does that. That said, it is by no means easy to do correctly, and the hardest part for me is maintaining concentration.

I suppose it makes sense. The human mind has a tendency to take a thought and run with it. Picture this: I'm trying to meditate and I hear a buzz near my ear...it's a mosquito serenading me. I get annoyed. I curse the mosquito. Then remember that all blood-sucking mosquitoes are female. Then I think of 'Female of the Species' by Space. Now the tune's stuck in my head. I can see the album cover art in my mind. Now I'm wondering how many times I've listened to that song. Then I think of the song I've listened to most (according to my last.fm profile) - Moving to New York by The Wombats. Then I think about my trip to New York. Hang on...wasn't I supposed to be meditating? Sigh. Buddhism refers to this phenomenon as papancha - the proliferation of thoughts. All because I got annoyed with the mozzie. What I should have done was thought "It's just a mosquito, it's just background noise. Focus." Or in other words, I should've kept calm and carried on doing what I was doing.

www.keepcalmandcarryon.com

A lot of the issues we have in life are because we get too attached to things that distract us. We become attached to one negative experience, and believe it's the end of the world as we know it. We become attached to one positive experience, and prepare to pack up and move into our own little fantasy world. We choose to ignore the reality: that either way, it is just an experience. A fleeting instance. Here one moment, gone the next. Nothing more, nothing less. Now acknowledge it, accept it, and get on with your life.

The Internet is sorta like that. Related videos on Youtube, embedded links and citations on Wikipedia, blog rolls on blogs. We start with one thing in mind, and the next thing we know, we're looking at something we don't even particularly care about. Now I suppose this would be all well and good, except for the fact that I've got a PhD to finish this year. I shouldn't be papancha-fying so much...getting caught up in my daydreams. Must focus.

Yes. I must.

And on this day...

Listening to: silence (yes, still)

Today, I did something I hadn't done in eleven years. My reasons were in part justifiable - my physical condition doesn't allow me to stay in one position for long (i.e. I have to get up and walk around), and that can cause problems when following a set programme with about three thousand other people around you. Now this reason was only valid until I left my junior school. After that, the opportunity never arose. Either that, or I was revising for exams and not really in a mood to wander on down to the temple for an entire day.

Since coming to university, it hasn't been an option either. In my first year, I had lectures. In my second year, it was a week before exams. In my third year, I was in the middle of Design Project. This year, I decided to forget the excuses and actually do it. OK, so there's no temple nearby...but that doesn't matter. Should there be witnesses? Why? Do I not trust myself to adhere to the precepts? I would be my witness. My conscience would guide me through a day of reflection...and revision, of course.

Those of you who are familiar with Buddhist practices in Sri Lanka will probably guess what I'm on about. Observing Sil is a tradition for most practising Theravadan Buddhists: it is a time to focus on our Buddhist way of life and remind ourselves of the path that we walk along. This Access to Insight page can explain The Eight Precepts and the significance of observing Sil better than I can.

So how did I combine religious observances with revision? Well, took the Eight Precepts at about 10am, revised till 11am. Went and got a sandwich and ate that before noon. Back to revision. At about 4.30pm, I was feeling a bit, well, bored...so I took my copy of Ven. Walpola Rahula's What the Buddha Taught, and I read a few chapters. Then I went back to revision. Stopped revision at about 5.30pm, read some more of the book, and ended my observance at 6.30pm. I've revised...in more ways than one.

You may or may not agree with the teachings of Lord Buddha, and that is your choice. You may or may not consider yourself a Buddhist, and that is also your choice. However, I urge you...if you do agree with His teachings, and if you do consider yourself a Buddhist, observing Attanga Sila is a very rewarding experience. Please don't deny yourself of this experience by making excuses like I have for the past eleven years.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

Preethi Vesak!

Listening to: silence

Vesak. It is a time to remember. A time to reflect. A time to purify one's mind. Not that we shouldn't do this at other times...but today is special.

I am chief of the world,
Eldest am I in the world,
Foremost am I in the world.
This is the last birth.
There is now no more coming to be.

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Thro' many a birth in samsara wandered
Seeking, but not finding, the builder of this house.
Sorrowful is repeated birth.
House builder, thou art seen.
Thou shalt build no house again.
All thy rafters are broken; thy ridgepole is shattered.
The mind attains the unconditioned.
Achieved is the end of craving.

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Behold, O monks, this is my last advice to you. All component things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Work hard to gain your own salvation.

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And as such are remembered, the words of Lord Buddha. It is 2,550 years since the passing of this Great Human Being, and it will serve us well to reflect upon His teachings and nourish our lives.

A peaceful Vesak to you all.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā! - May all beings be happy!

Dogs bark, caravan passes...

Listening to: 'Maha Pirith'

I told myself I wouldn't start a political discussion on this blog for two reasons:
a) It just makes my blood boil
b) There are plenty of blogs out there which say the exact same thing I'd say, and it seems pointless to echo them.

Instead, I will turn to the Dhammapada, as I always (should) do. One of my all-time favourites suggests how we should react to the treatment Sri Lanka has been getting from the global media...

Selo yatã eka ghano – vãtena na samirati
Evam nindã pasamsãsu – na samijjhanti panditã (Pandita Vagga, #6)

This translates to:

Just as a mighty boulder
stirs not with the wind,
so the wise are never moved
either by praise or blame.

Stay calm, my fellow countrymen.

In light of the irresponsible journalism seemingly advocated by the BBC, my 'Cool Stuff' sidebar no longer links to their website...I don't think they are all that cool.

OK back to Sustainability...yes I'm still on Sustainability!

Procrastination is the key to...nothing

And today I have done...nothing.

Well, not *nothing*, perhaps. Filled in one question on my PhD application form. Talk about progress. I really should hurry up and finish it, it's been sitting here for months.

This blogging business is far too interesting for me to forget about yet...and far more interesting than any form of application. The background started out black, but after dabbling in a bit of html editing (pray, don't let me become a CompSci! *shock shock horror horror*) I managed to change it to my favourite colour, purple! I is a happy bunny now *dances around room in a thank-goodness-you-can't-see-me kind of way*.

The fact of the matter is, I'm lonely. I've been sitting in my room for the past 3 hours, and no one has MSNd me. THAT is the height of my status patheticus. I believe the beautiful people are engaging in some form of invigorating exercise as I type this, however physical prowess was never something that I was blessed with, and that is not something I wish to be reminded of everyday.

Moving on...

My desk is a mess. It has been for weeks. Shopping lists, supermarket receipts, Chinese class notes, examples papers, tissues (ugh)...you name it, it's here. I really should tidy it up. I really should do a lot of things. But there's always tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that...isn't there? Maybe not. What will happen if I fall down tomorrow on the way to lectures and I'm paralysed for the rest of my life? What will happen if I decide to take the bus (to avoid falling and the ensuing paralysis) and the bus crashes? "Think about the present, not the past, not the future" said He. Easier said than done, O' Great One. But then, He knew that better than any of us.

I really need to meditate. I need to channel my thoughts. It would make revision so much easier. I also need to stop thinking about things that are outside my circle of control...i.e. most things.

I have a saying on my wall in front of me now, one by Ajahn Brahmavamso -

At the end of each day, it doesn't matter so much what stage one has attained, or what one has achieved. What really matters is whether one has really practised to the limit of one's ability that day - or instead has been slack and heedless, forgetting the [Buddha's] teachings, and forgetting one's faith that these teachings actually lead to [Nibbana].

Why oh why can't I read this every day?

OK back to application forms. Oh the joy.