Sunday, January 29, 2006

Procrastination is the key to...nothing

And today I have done...nothing.

Well, not *nothing*, perhaps. Filled in one question on my PhD application form. Talk about progress. I really should hurry up and finish it, it's been sitting here for months.

This blogging business is far too interesting for me to forget about yet...and far more interesting than any form of application. The background started out black, but after dabbling in a bit of html editing (pray, don't let me become a CompSci! *shock shock horror horror*) I managed to change it to my favourite colour, purple! I is a happy bunny now *dances around room in a thank-goodness-you-can't-see-me kind of way*.

The fact of the matter is, I'm lonely. I've been sitting in my room for the past 3 hours, and no one has MSNd me. THAT is the height of my status patheticus. I believe the beautiful people are engaging in some form of invigorating exercise as I type this, however physical prowess was never something that I was blessed with, and that is not something I wish to be reminded of everyday.

Moving on...

My desk is a mess. It has been for weeks. Shopping lists, supermarket receipts, Chinese class notes, examples papers, tissues (ugh) name it, it's here. I really should tidy it up. I really should do a lot of things. But there's always tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that...isn't there? Maybe not. What will happen if I fall down tomorrow on the way to lectures and I'm paralysed for the rest of my life? What will happen if I decide to take the bus (to avoid falling and the ensuing paralysis) and the bus crashes? "Think about the present, not the past, not the future" said He. Easier said than done, O' Great One. But then, He knew that better than any of us.

I really need to meditate. I need to channel my thoughts. It would make revision so much easier. I also need to stop thinking about things that are outside my circle of control...i.e. most things.

I have a saying on my wall in front of me now, one by Ajahn Brahmavamso -
At the end of each day, it doesn't matter so much what stage one has attained, or what one has achieved. What really matters is whether one has really practised to the limit of one's ability that day - or instead has been slack and heedless, forgetting the [Buddha's] teachings, and forgetting one's faith that these teachings actually lead to [Nibbana].

Why oh why can't I read this every day?

OK back to application forms. Oh the joy.

1 comment:

  1. Yay! you're applying for a phd!! (cambridge students never leave cambridge).

    sammy, i read your previous blog more carefully this time. you must realise that ppl *do* love you. Even ppl who have never met you think you lovely (Emma...Katherine...)

    And something i heard recently that makes a lot of sense is: "You are what you LOVE...not what loves you." Cheesy, but true.

    and defly up for a girly chat ;) Am away in Stirling this weekend, but should be freer after that!!



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