Sunday, January 29, 2006

Altruism ≡ Doormat Syndrome

"She'll always be there for me when I need her"
"She's a rock"
"I don't know what I'd do without her"

But what about me? I spend so much time being there for everyone else, that I'm never there for me. Well, there's hardly anyone there for me. It's all well and good to say "of course we're all here for you, we all care about you" - but talk is cheap. How many people will ACTUALLY be there for me when I'm feeling down? When I've been treated bad (happens quite often)? When depression takes over? I believe the fingers on one hand are a few too many.

I have many pet peeves...being taken for granted is a big one. However, being taken for granted seems to be one of the side-effects of being an altruist. So what's the solution? Stop being an altruist, obviously. Erm...yeah right, like that will ever happen.

I think selflessness is quite a selfish state of mind (paradox, huh?). To misquote a favourite tune, I get a kick out of...making other people feel good. I don't expect anything in return, maybe just a little gratitude...but nothing major.

Or maybe I'm bullshitting. Maybe what I really expect in return is a little more complex, more demanding, impossible even for some people: to be treated well. After all, all I want is to be loved by the people I love. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.

Be nice to me! I'm always nice to you, is it so difficult to reciprocate? Not once a year, not once a month...not even once a day...but ALWAYS.

But maybe it is too difficult to be nice to me. Maybe if I had to be nice to me, I'd find it difficult too. Maybe that's why I'm an altruist - is it really easier to be nice to other people than it is to be nice to myself?

Interesting thought to chew on. However, a late breakfast is more satisfying. Over and out.


  1. couldn't agree more. and boy do you deserve some ME time!!! glad you're FINALLY acting upon it!! Leika xxx

  2. v all wud LOVE 2b able 2do good w/o xpectin anythin in return.. a noble goal indeed, bt it lacks realism! But is a lack of realism a justified reason to stop? or is it merely an excuse? This is where ur faith wud come in2 play. U may not hav faith in a higher power, bt if u truly believ in Karma, u'll kno that ur reward will come, and if ur lucky, it'll b in this very life. So help others w/o worryin about regret. Bt dont 4get that ur human. Hope u hav a better 2moro than ur own 2day.

  3. This reminds a lot of myself, no one ever seems to be there for me even though I am there for my friends.


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