Sunday, May 04, 2008

What am I good for?

Listening to: 'Delayed Devotion' by Duffy [Rockferry]

...absolutely nothing, it seems (with apologies to Edwin Starr).

Cambridge is the perfect place to develop a 'small fish big pond' mentality, and it seems I have mastered it in my ~6 years here. I'm such a pro that I'm not even sure I'm a fish any more...I feel more like an unwilling urchin in transparent fish clothing. Whether it's brains, looks, wealth or luck...I always find myself on the outside looking in. Don't get me wrong, on a global scale I'm not doing too bad...but in my current environment, it's a different story. I've blogged about this inadequacy before, and I'm sad to say that nothing has changed in the year that's passed. If at all, it's just got worse.

I must be a masochist. I keep putting myself in positions where I hope I will be pleasantly surprised, even though I know it's highly unlikely. And then when it turns out just the way I thought it would (or even worse), I get upset. Well duh, PR...what did you expect?! Serves you right for hoping. To all the optimists who think I shouldn't lose hope or faith or whatever the hell you wanna call it, see THIS is what happens when I try to be optimistic. It all goes tits up in my face. Still want me to have hope?

And to those of you who are about to comment on how I'm being a self-centred bitch and just feeling sorry for myself, take a look at the title of this blog: it reads "time for some 'me' time". I think that gives me the right to feel sorry for myself if the necessity arises, don't you?

I suppose I owe you a cheery end to this miserable post. Here's Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker doing their version of the inspiration for the title of this post.

1 comment:

  1. At the first and second readings, "going tits up in my face" was hilarious.


    Also, try some Homer Simpson ;) []. There's at least one quote in there that works for me.


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