Side effects of Eye Candy

Listening to: 'Love Song for No One' by John Mayer [Room for Squares]

So this is where they've all been hiding - grad school. Four years after I decided that Cambridge is devoid of hotties, I find myself in a room with all of them! OK slight exaggeration - they're good looking (then again, my taste is questionable) but not amazing (i.e. no threat to Brad Pitt), and I wasn't with all of them, just four. But still, decent lookers with brains are hard to find!

Finally, there's something other than work to think about. This would seem a great improvement from the 'am I bothered?' attitude I had a couple of months back, but somehow it's not as comforting as I hoped it'd be. There are two thoughts that pop up frequently -

...Yeah but it's not like any of them fancy me!
...even if someone did, it's not like I'd actually go out with them!

Yes I know I'm being awfully schoolgirlish about the whole situation, but I guess when your only remotely pseudo-romantic encounter was an aeon ago, your imagination tends to work overtime. And that's another problem. All this eye candy has jerked my memory awake and sent it back to that fateful perfect moment...and it's depressing. I feel as though I'm a slave to that memory and it's painful. And while I'd like to say that John Mayer's Love Song for No One echos my current sentiment, there's a part of me that doesn't feel confident to step out of the gloom. *Sigh* my heart feels heavy. Lack of sleep doesn't help either.