Sunday, April 12, 2009

Fed up

Listening to: Radio 1

This is a largely-unedited rant.

Fed up of living in the lab.
Fed up of having a room in a house, but no home.
Fed up of hearing the sound of my own voice.
Fed up of eating the same food, day in day out.
Fed up of having no one to talk to.
Fed up of having no one to listen to.
Fed up of the fact that the only two people who care about me more than they do about anyone else but each other are 5,000 miles away.
Fed up of the fact that they are the only people who have ever held me the way I need to be held.
Fed up of knowing that that's not going to change.
Fed up of the hormones.
Fed up of the lack of eye candy.
Fed up of the fact that eye candy is all I can hope for.
Fed up of the pedestrians who walk down the middle of Trinity Street as if I'm supposed to fly over them.
Fed up of the supervisor who doesn't realise how tiring a 22hr experiment actually is.
Fed up of the protesters who think that the LTTE actually gives a shit about anyone but themselves and anything but war.
Fed up of the suddhas who think they know what they're talking about.
Fed up of the Sri Lankans who think life in the UK is rosy.
Fed up of the fact that no one else seems to be having such a rough PhD ride.
Fed up of not having time to go shopping.
Fed up of chinese takeaway.
Fed up of crying.
Fed up of being lonely.
Fed up of not knowing why I feel so shit.
Fed up of not knowing if this is just a bad day, or if everything I've worked towards is crashing down around me.
Fed up of the bullshit.

I want out.


  1. Man, you just freaked the hell outta' me...not coming to London definitely....:(

  2. Hehe no no, pls don't let my mood put you off! I don't know much about London but I think it's ok, just not infinitely better than anywhere else on the planet.

  3. I totally get you..:(

    would you like me to add you on msn? :)if you like to talk, drop a mail..

    take care..

  4. LD I have said this before and I'll say this again - you are an amazing person :-) mailed you :-) xx

  5. Wow ... You're scaring me... not cos of the rant itself but because there's a lot in common with me.. :o

  6. Dili...I'm sorry that there's a lot in common :-( But I suppose it's a sign that we're not alone?

  7. .... im sure ur 22 hours expt has alleviated all these emotions, hasn't it? :D

    cheer up.. its all u CAN do after all...!

    lol @ Fed up of the hormones... sorry, couldnt resist >:D

  8. Cheer up Ammi! Take a walk and chill! I'm sure I have no understanding of the stress you're going through, but you'll pull through! :)

  9. mmm :S i only read this now after coming back...BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGG HUG!! u have ur bloggg and usss :) :) smile!

  10. Gehan - hehe yup! :D But yeah you're right, I just have to cheer up and get on with it.
    LOL I'm glad you find that bit amusing :P

    chinsen - thanks Chinny! :-)

    DeeCee - thank you dahling! I am smiling now :-)


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