Ah yes, so this is how it's supposed to feel (is it?)

Listening to: 'Ran Kurahan Mal' by Bathiya & Santhush [Tharunyaye]

So I'm practising again. There's something exhilarating about being surrounded by instruments and just jamming. Trying out harmonies, switching parts around, trying to keep up with the pianist when (s)he decides to change key on a whim...words cannot describe how it makes me feel. If I could sing and teach for the rest of my life, I'd be on top of the world.

But today's session also came with a realisation. Not only am I missing my old voice, I am missing my old ear, and I am missing my youth. I used to be able to catch a harmony on the 1st or 2nd go...now I have to rely on the pianist to guide me into my part. Maybe I'm just rusty, but it was embarrassing. I know I know, it happens to everyone...but I'm the oldest in the ensemble, by a margin of around 6 years, and I feel (rightly or wrongly) like I have a point to prove. And I did not prove that point today. These kids are fresh out of school, they've already found musical extra-curricular activities, and anyway they're far more talented than I ever was. I, on the other hand, left my talent at home when I came to university.

I feel so out of place.